Will You Be My WP.GURU?

My friend Havi Brooks found her perfect house by writing a personal ad in her blog, describing exactly what she needed.


Loving, caring, urban couple with adorable toy duck seeking sweet home in Portland — not the one on the east coast — to cherish and adore for long-term rental relationship … (and more?)

Us? We’ll scrub you clean every single Friday morning and generally treat you like the goddess you are.

You: about 1000 square feet with wood floors and lots of light. A porch would be nice too … and maybe a basement?

Ideally you’re located in NE Portland, near Alberta or Killingsworth, but if you’re the one for us we’ll go pretty much anywhere, as long as you’re in walking distance to groceries and such.

The most important thing for us in this relationship is the kitchen. We want it to be big enough for us to eat in there, and inviting enough for us to hang out in.

We both work from home, so we’ll be around a lot, and Richard will cook something that smells amazing every single night except Tuesday.

Havi will bake bread at least once a week. You’ll love it.

We only use natural ingredients (lemon, vinegar, soap, borax) to clean, so you’ll be well taken care of with no chemicals in sight. And we never leave dishes in the sink!

It worked so well for her, that I’m going to give it a try.  I really, really need a WordPress guru who can help fix all the user errors that keep cropping up in my blogs.


You’re an amazing coder, WordPress guru, technical savant and detail lover.  I’m the type of user that makes you roll your eyes and tell stories to your friends about clueless users.  We’re a match made in heaven.

I create amazing WordPress sites, add themes, install plugins, edit CSS files — and have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.  I mean well, and try hard, but sooner or later things go ker-flooey. (Don’t bother looking that up in your WordPress dictionary.)  Things disappear, widgets become whatdjits, and it starts looking like some kind of fool put the whole thing together.

You need to keep people from finding out the truth.  Help me maintain the sham that I actually know what I’m doing, and I promise to never touch the admin panel again.  To never install a plugin without your permission.  And never edit anything above a post or a page.

Will you be my WP.GURU?

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